feelings time Who I Am

Reading in real-time/Nightmares

I had a nightmare last night.

I was reading a thick book and experiencing all the contents of the book in real-time. At one point, I looked out the window and saw a plume of dark grey smoke. It permeated through the air and, although I was safe inside the building, I started to hear people screaming outside.

Everyone was turning into zombies, or simply just undead.

Those of us who were inside, we tried to save ourselves, but one by one dropped and became a zombie.

Many years later, the epidemic dissipated and I found myself at the same age I had been when the zombies began to appear.

I found my family home and saw that my family was safe and also looked the same in age.

We were happy to have each other, but we heard that there were still some zombies roaming in the wild.



Then, I woke up.

family time

Daily Post Day 15: Time Machine Thoughts

Tokyo streets.

Oh, don’t we all wish for a time machine at points in our lives. I know for sure I’d want to go back in time to my earlier years and rearrange a few events around. But I know then that’ll affect the present and the future. As science fiction movies say, we’d only mess up what we currently have.

I would like to spend one hour in 1951. I’d be in China and I’d see how my grandparents and my father lived there. I’d uncover some family mysteries.

change time travel

Travels Wrapped Up For the Season; Now What?

I’ve been back from Las Vegas since Friday, but of course it took me a few days to adjust back to daily life. It’s always like that after a vacation/trip: takes a few days to get over the exhilaration felt on the trip. A few ups and downs in moods due to the realization that “all good things must come to an end” and having to face reality again.

Summer is almost over (in a few weeks), and now that I look back on the past few months, I realize I’d done more traveling this year than in the past few years of living in San Francisco. Granted, quite a few trips this year were road trips, but still. I’ve had the opportunity to really see more of California and Nevada this summer.

But, as the title of this post suggests, I’m all finished with travels for now. And of course, the question goes…well, what next?

Sometimes things don’t go as planned…well, not sometimes, but most of the time. I find that that’s what I have been trying to grapple with this year as I keep walking along this path and noticing that many things are not going the way that I want them to. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I’ve had trouble trying to come to terms with this realization.

Doesn’t help when I start to wallow in negativity and telling myself “Well, gee, you’re not going to amount to anything since you keep dragging your feet.” Everything has a time and place though. I’m trying to be patient about everything and just enjoying life day by day. Isn’t that all I can do? Enjoy the present and let the future unwrap itself at its own terms?

I suppose we shall see.

#amreading goals Internet life project reading the3six5 time

First Third, 2010.

There’s still a week left in April, but still: last night, I came to the realization that the year is almost already a third over. The time that has passed this year–it’s hard to believe how it stays in motion and that the dark period of time continues to edge further and further away.

I’ve been reviewing my journals from the last half of 2009 and I realize that, although many things change externally and internally, a lot of my thoughts stay constant. The goals I had mapped out for this year have been derailed by that unfortunate period of time, but slowly, I’m picking myself back up.

On Monday, I found myself perusing the public library and scooping up a few more books on writing. I can never get enough of these kinds of books; I’m always looking to read and learn more, to hone my craft. Writing has been dormant lately, at least creatively. Sure, I’m drafting emails and meeting minutes at work, but that’s just stating the facts. Reminds me of my days in high school when I wrote articles for the school paper.

In a few days, I’ll be leaving my mark on the3six5 Project, and I continue to feel in disbelief that my time to write my entry for the project has snuck up on me so quickly. I remember when I signed up to be a writer for the project (late last year) that I was already envisioning what I would write on April 24; I had many plans and dreams to build up to that point in time back in December. Now, I see that all those plans I had will not be written about, at least not this year. There are different things happening instead.

Life continues to amaze me with the twists and turns that come my way. Reading my journals has been like reading a suspenseful novel; didn’t know things would turn out this way, but I’ll still persevere. I’m alive today, and I’m truly thankful for that.

observation reflection time

Upside Down in January

This is the first time in probably years where the year has started off with nonstop action. Most of the time, the month of January has been just dry and boring for me. Things go by like syrup, so the days feel too long and I’m usually left sitting and staring at a clock for the time to just edge by.

But this year, January has been a monster for me. I feel like I’ve been on a rollercoaster for this first half of the month, up and down, up and down. There’s been barely any time to breathe and reflect on all the changes. As my friend said to me the other day, there’s no time to feel much emotion for things that have happened.

In the little free time I’ve had this month, I have been walking around more and reflecting on the past few years. I’ve seen a few of my favorite businesses in my neighborhood close down due to the slow economy, and new businesses popping up near the Financial District showing promise for an improving economy. Still, there are a lot of vacant storefronts, all victims to the recession.

I also find myself observing others more, and realizing what a long way I’ve come in the past 5-10 years. It’s a big chunk of time to think about, but I notice how times have changed and how I’ve aged when observing others. I watch young high-schoolers board the bus with their nonchalant “tough” demeanor and I wonder what they’ll be thinking about when they come to my age. I’m not much older than they are, but the space between the teenage and young adult years is much wider than the space between the 20s and 30s.

The rest of the month (the next two weeks) will continue upon this rollercoaster I’ve boarded. I’m not sure if the ride will stop on my birthday or if it’ll continue on throughout the year.