A Spontaneous, Perfect Outing

September 8th, 2010 § 0

Lands End Park, San Francisco

There are few places left in San Francisco that I enjoy. There are few things I feel happy about in this city. But, yesterday, spontaneity struck.

Instead of going on our weekly gym outing, we went  to Lands End Park, which I hadn’t visited since February. The weather yesterday was perfect for a visit to the park by the ocean: sun beaming down, a mostly clear blue sky. The rays bouncing off of the water made the scene so dreamy and fantastic. Even though we didn’t venture into the park for more spectacular views, the scene (in the picture) was enough for our satisfaction.

And then, Baker Beach. I first visited Baker Beach at the very start of this year; this time, there weren’t too many people out despite the fact that it was late afternoon (perhaps because of work/school). The beach was mostly secluded and felt like the perfect hideout. No clouds or fog were blocking the view of the Golden Gate Bridge, so we stopped to take a few pictures. We walked along the beach and I got sand in my tennis shoes once again.

The whole outing was rounded out with an early dinner at 100% Sweet Cafe, which I had visited awhile ago (sometime last year) when I still lived in the Richmond District.  We were able to take advantage of the restaurant’s “Tea Time Special”, which had a lot of noodle dishes and free drinks. The atmosphere was peaceful and intimate despite the cutesy decor of the restaurant.

I needed that bit of spontaneity to refresh my mood and emotions. Sometimes I prefer the unexpected more than the routine, even though having a routine is “safe”.  Running off the beaten path seems to bring me more happiness than other things.

A New Month, New Goals

September 3rd, 2010 § 0

I was unable to meet the deadlines for a few contests and literary magazines last month. Oh well, try again next time. However, I have discovered a few others that I am sure to enter these next two months. More time now due to less travels.

Did some goal setting yesterday. Realized a few things about myself that I was afraid of addressing before. It helps to address my values and really think hard about concrete goals. I was using lululemon’s Goal Tender website and it talked about long-term goals (10 years in advance) as well. It was frightening for me to think that far in advance, but I suppose I should prepare nonetheless. The future comes rather quickly anyway.

So far, September has been off to a healthy, fit start. I hope to have more walks and gym time this month. The summertime was rather erratic with scheduling time for friends and walks since I was working on classes all summer. My priorities must shift now since there aren’t any classes to fret about.

Also, NaNoWriMo is less than two months away now. This year I will participate again and I will make it a point to complete my draft. I still have two unfinished novel drafts to work on; 2009 was a good year for writing, but spurts of time messed up the rhythm. This year I’ve focused more on short stories, which is probably a good thing for me so I’m at least writing and not stuck.

Travels Wrapped Up For the Season; Now What?

August 31st, 2010 § 0

I’ve been back from Las Vegas since Friday, but of course it took me a few days to adjust back to daily life. It’s always like that after a vacation/trip: takes a few days to get over the exhilaration felt on the trip. A few ups and downs in moods due to the realization that “all good things must come to an end” and having to face reality again.

Summer is almost over (in a few weeks), and now that I look back on the past few months, I realize I’d done more traveling this year than in the past few years of living in San Francisco. Granted, quite a few trips this year were road trips, but still. I’ve had the opportunity to really see more of California and Nevada this summer.

But, as the title of this post suggests, I’m all finished with travels for now. And of course, the question goes…well, what next?

Sometimes things don’t go as planned…well, not sometimes, but most of the time. I find that that’s what I have been trying to grapple with this year as I keep walking along this path and noticing that many things are not going the way that I want them to. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I’ve had trouble trying to come to terms with this realization.

Doesn’t help when I start to wallow in negativity and telling myself “Well, gee, you’re not going to amount to anything since you keep dragging your feet.” Everything has a time and place though. I’m trying to be patient about everything and just enjoying life day by day. Isn’t that all I can do? Enjoy the present and let the future unwrap itself at its own terms?

I suppose we shall see.

New Domain; Update on Yearly Book List

August 20th, 2010 § 0

Last night, after a year and a half of confusion, I finally figured out how to replace my domain with my blog. So, no more outdated content! Now, helenekwong.com is my blog with updated content on a regular basis.

I guess when I started my domain in early 2009, I was just excited and didn’t know how to go about it. But, as time has passed, I’ve observed others’ domains and see how they successfully incorporate their blog as their main page. I wanted that so badly yet I just didn’t know how to go about it.

And the change was rather easy.

Anyway, last night I also updated my “Completed Books” list, which I’ve kept up for each year since 2008. So far this year, I’ve only read ten books. The irony of that number is that I went through a phase of checking out 10-15 books from the library. Needless to say, I got distracted and I was unable to complete all those books within a timely manner. I suppose this year has been quite different from the past two years in that a lot more has changed.

Well, perhaps I will get 15 more books read by the end of the year if I want to stay at my average of 25 books per year. We’ll see how these last few months play out.

Desert Land & Reflections

August 18th, 2010 § 0

Dusty, two-lane highways are quintessential to the American way. Up until this past weekend, I hadn’t really experienced the meaning of a “road trip”. Sure, I drove to campus when I was in undergrad, but that was just me traveling from Point A to Point B, several times per year. I wasn’t taking stops every hour or so to take in the scenery. Then again, I was the driver.

Over the weekend, I went to Las Vegas with some friends by car. Without stops, the drive would have been nine hours or ten, with traffic. But we took quite a few stops for gas, food, bathroom, coffee, etc. Along the way, I took many pictures of the scenery we passed by. It was different from what I was accustomed to in the past: dry, mountainous desert land.

On the way to Las Vegas, I felt intrigued by the landscape and watched it all pass by with a smile. On the way back to San Francisco, I felt a sadness emanating from the lands as we cruised on up Highway 5. The dryness of the area, the monotonous tones….I realized that I wouldn’t want to live in areas like this.

Just more thoughts to confirm what my landscape preferences are: mountains, oceans, lakes, forests, etc. Let’s not talk about cityscapes this time around. That’ll have to wait until a future entry.

The Ebb & Flow of Writing, of Life

August 13th, 2010 § 0

In the past month, I haven’t really thought much about writing. Sure, there were times when I decided I wanted to write a little something, so I fired up my NEO AlphaSmart and just typed away. But, these were just rare occurrences. I found myself focused on GMAT and on other aspects of my life instead.

And now, with the GMAT completed and all the free time in the world for me again, I sit here and just ponder. A part of me feels like I need to hurry up and get back to my writing, but there’s a whole part of me that just gently nudges me and says, “Well, take your time. You don’t need to be in a hurry.”

During these past three years, I’ve seen my interest in writing go up and down a lot. There are periods of time when I feel like it’s all I can think about, that I can only focus on my novels or my short stories and devour everything I can when it comes to writing reference and self-help books from the library or the bookstore. And then, the complete opposite happens: I stop writing, I stop reading, and I’m just befuddled as to what to do with my time.

That’s just how it goes. And right now seems to be a period of nothingness after all the rollercoaster feelings I’ve gone through over the summer. Perhaps I’ll find that passion for writing again. I know I will, but I suppose I can’t always expect life to move so quickly with everything I want to do. Just take it all one moment at a time.

48 Hours Later: Change is Arriving

August 10th, 2010 § 0

It’s strange to me that I sit here today with a completely different mindset than on Sunday afternoon. Yesterday, I decided to go downtown for some shopping and also to visit some old friends. The idea of reconnecting with others really invigorated me and gave me a renewed outlook; plus, it didn’t hurt to hear their insight on my predicament from last Friday.

I realize now (and I’d known before but seemed to have forgotten) that….well, there’s always more than one way to get to a destination, a goal. It’s not always cut-and-dry, it’s not always easy. Nothing is easy in life–that’s what my family continues to say to me. But I should be grateful for all that has happened this year, both good and bad. I’ve learned a lot this year, maybe more than in previous years. I suppose it’s always like that: each new year brings along new lessons.

Now, the next step seems clearer than it did on Sunday. My first baby step is to get over my fear of change. It happens all the time (change). I need to learn to move with it instead of fight it.

Roadblocks Along Life.

August 8th, 2010 § 0

Panorama 5 of Gunma Museum of Art,Tatebayashi ...Image via Wikipedia

Another delayed post. The past few weeks have been hectic, especially on the weekends, so I haven’t had time to really think of much to write about.
In short, the fruits of my labor weren’t realized on Friday when I took my actual GMAT for the third time. The whole weekend I’ve been pondering what to do next, and it doesn’t really help that I feel tugged from different directions. There’s a road that I want to travel upon to get to my destination, but somehow there are roadblocks coming along that I didn’t expect. And now, I can only contemplate what to do next.
I know I need to find my place in life, that I need to achieve my goals. But then the question comes as well: what is really important to me? The past few days, I’ve thought about that and observed my surroundings, and I see what’s important to me. I don’t need anything more. Yet I find myself fighting for more anyway.
I suppose we all go through this phase at some point in our lives. Sometimes it happens early on in our lives, and sometimes it happens much later.
Well, that’s all I have to say. Until Tuesday, then.

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iPhone 4: I’m Ahead of the Curve

August 3rd, 2010 § 0

The new Apple iPhoneImage by Victor Svensson via Flickr

I can’t help but mention about my iPhone 4–mainly because this is the first time in awhile I’ve given into the technology craze around here. For me, I only get hyped up about certain products/electronics if those closest to me are overzealous about the products. Then, once I purchase it, I keep it forever–I’m one of those people who keep it simple and just stick with the product as is, not giving into the yearly updates/upgrades/etc.

The last time I remember “giving in” to an electronic craze? Back in late 2004/early 2005, I went to Japan for the first time, and one of my good friends kept talking about the new Panasonic Lumix FX7. I now forget why exactly the camera was so innovative at that point, but I went ahead and plunked down the money for the newest camera. I brought it back to the States and my friends were in awe over the sleek, slim design of the camera (back then, remember, US digital cameras were still bulky and similar to 35mm cameras).

Ah, but the years have passed, and the cameras in the US are now just as slim and compact as what the Lumix FX7 was in Japan 5-6 years ago. But, I still have my trusty little camera with me because it’s lasted all these years, and I figure, why buy a new one if this one still works perfectly well?

So this brings me to the whole iPhone 4 schpiel at the beginning: oh, even though I’m one of the early adopters (one of many here in the Bay Area, sigh), I feel I’ll probably still stick with the iPhone 4 even when Apple rolls out iPhone 5, 6, etc. in the next few years. Who knows. Technology continues to slide on quickly and consumers continue to grab at each new technological advance, so of course companies will continue to work hard on getting new products out.

But I’ll still stick with my trusty electronics until they completely die out on me. We’ll see what the future holds for this new gadget.

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Week in Review: New month, 6 months.

August 1st, 2010 § 0

Emotions showImage via Wikipedia

This past week: what a whirlwind. Things flew by so quickly that I didn’t even notice that Friday had come and gone until it was too late. Appointments, classes, cooking, etc. Amidst it all, I spent very little time on my computer, which to me is usually a good thing since I don’t like spending hours in front of the computer and over-thinking things.

Yesterday, July 31st, marked six months since that dark period of time for me. Exactly six months–my colleague had once told me how it takes up to six months to completely heal from everything that happens in a traumatic event. I was too quick to recover and be up and running again; little did I realize that my mind, my emotions, were slower to recuperate.
Can I say that I’ve healed a lot during this year? Yes, and no. At times there are still flashbacks, and it’s one of those periods in time where, as hard as we may try to forget about it, it’ll still linger in our minds. I suppose it doesn’t help that the trauma occurred on my birthday, so of course I can never forget it now.
But, really, what good does it do to continue dwelling upon this? Re-hashing the past, trying to think of ways things “could have been” if A didn’t happen or this and that–it’s no use. It just causes more emotional distress, trying to alter the past when that’s wholly impossible. It’s best to continue walking along on this path and just look forward. Keep looking forward and don’t look back.
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