The Last Couple Months

IMG_8107

Well, my previous entry was about my feeling directionless, lost.

Two days after that post, I got into another car accident. Thankfully, this accident was not as big as the previous one, but I was still shaken up. Plus, this time around, there are more doctors’ appointments to tend to than in 2010. A lot of these appointments have taken up the majority of my time since late July.

I attended SXSW’s inaugural year of their V2V branch in Las Vegas last month. A new twist on the SXSW brand; and, what can I say, Las Vegas is fun. Got to see Tony Hsieh’s startup community in Downtown Vegas; met many wonderful people from Austin, Kansas City, San Francisco, New York, and even Denverites/Boulderites.

When I returned to Denver from Vegas, I was on fire to get going with several new business concepts. Since mid-August, I have been working on the concepts and am ready to get the business plans written and then executed.

Unfortunately, heavy rain fell upon Colorado last week, causing many areas to flood. My bedroom in my apartment did not fare well: my landlord and I had to remove the padding underneath the carpet and have been blowing fans on the damage since Saturday. Hopefully this will be fixed tomorrow.

Now, I am in the midst of Denver Startup Week and I have mixed feelings about the kind of press the event has received. Stay tuned for that post tomorrow.

Directionless in Life

Umbrella for coffee. Just a random photo from my photography collection.

Umbrella for coffee. Just a random photo from my photography collection.

I feel like I have driven myself into the ground these past two weeks. That old familiar feeling: I am doing too much. I am overcommitted.

The difference this time, though: I have come to the conclusion that TAOpivot is not what I want to be doing for life.

I have not talked much about TAOpivot in the past month; I told friends that I would put the business on hold for about a month. Now, I am not sure if that will even be the case. When telling people what I do for a living, I have found that I end up mumbling my usual pitch about TAOpivot. Or, the spark has disappeared.

What am I to do next? I have kept myself busy ( and earning money!) with a few gigs with local startups in the time being. I realize I have reached my burn-out point with all the gigs floating around my head and around my work hours.

I have an idea of what I want to do next after TAOpivot, but I also am afraid of figuring out how to execute this idea.

Thus, I have been lost all weekend and today. My therapists say I should journal about this turmoil I feel; I have done so, but I have not come to any a-ha moment yet. It is hard for me to completely turn my back on what I have worked on in the past year, especially when there are still outstanding clients and prospects reaching out to me.

I just don’t care though.

That’s it, I suppose. That’s all I want to say for now.

Nothing lyrical this time; purely updates.

My mind is spinning right now. Clearly, my usual Wednesday post has been moved off to today, Thursday.

Yes, I suppose I have reached a slight writer’s block for this week’s post, but there also have been many ideas whirling around in my mind.

One thing I would like to mention for the time being: I am the queen of winning conference passes via Twitter this year. Folks, you’d be surprised at how you, too, can also win opportunities like that, just by being more aware of who you are following.

Also, the past couple weeks I have been able to finally figure out my asking price for my writing services. Stay tuned for updates on those services, and please spread the word to your friends.

Finally, I am offering some “Pick My Brain” sessions for anyone interested. You can read more about that on a new page soon.

Off to finish the first full week of June. I can’t believe it is already June!

Thoughts Upon Unplugging for 24-30 Hours

At home, enjoying the weather last week.

At home, enjoying the weather last week.

After my San Francisco trip earlier this month, I was exhausted: depleted of energy, frustrated with TAOpivot, and annoyed at how little time I had to myself off the computer. I was dragging my feet on meetings, tasks, etc.

So, last Monday evening I decided I would unplug for 24-30 hours. I was also cutting myself off from in-person interactions. All I wanted to do was sit in my apartment with my cat, read, cook, organize my bookshelves, etc.

Just some solitude for myself to rest.

The time unplugged and with no human interaction was just what I needed. I admit, I had not had a true day of unplugging … probably ever. Last December, I was on and off my phone and computer, but not too active. Still, that was not true, 100% unplugging.

It felt great to finally be able to finish some book club selections, rearrange my bookshelves (I notice I have a lot of health, business, and writing books; not enough fiction hmm), just RELAX. Come Wednesday morning, I was reluctant to hop back onto my phone and laptop; I wanted to stay offline for another day or two. But alas, I hopped back on to check emails from clients and connections.

It was only a little difficult for me to not check my phone, but I reminded myself that I was not missing anything. It’s true: I have come across articles lately about how our generation is growing increasingly “afraid” of missing out on social media when out and about. “What am I missing while I am in my meeting? What am I missing while I am on this date?”

I was reprimanded one time by my eldest sister for being on my phone too much. She asked me, “Are you REALLY missing something important by checking your phone every few minutes?” I tried to prove her wrong, but instead I proved her right (this was Thanksgiving 2011). Since this incident, I have been more aware of my habits with my mobile devices; I have made a point to put the phone away during meals with friends/loved ones. Nothing is so important online that I must miss what is happening right in front of me.

Hence, I do want to take my days unplugged more seriously. I want to enjoy my time with my friends and family instead of wallowing away on the Internet. I hope to implement unplugged days about once a week from this point forward.

I want to be noticed for my accomplishments, not my ethnicity.

IMG_6336

This thought has been on my mind for most of this year and maybe part of last year: have I garnered attention to my accomplishments for the sake of my accomplishments and my own merit, or has some of it been based off of my standing in society as a minority AND as a woman?

I am probably not the first to have this thought; it is something that intrigues and bothers me. Earlier this year, I was thinking about applying for a small business award in the area. However, I have put those plans off until next year since TAOpivot is still pretty new (and only now gaining attention). Still, I was put off by the different categories listed for the awards: Best Small Business, Best Small Business Owned by Minority (Women included), and several other categories. I found myself questioning, “Why would I want to apply for the one that’s blatantly spelled out for me?”

Many times, I believe that groups, organizations, hell, even awards/recognitions can oftentimes wear the thin veil of segregation. Just look at some headlines that have popped up in recent media: “Best Female Leaders of 2013″, “First Hispanic CEO”, “Successful Black Women in Business”, and so forth. It is great and all to highlight these people, but to put that label on them? Can they not just be “best leaders”, “great CEO”, and “successful women in business”? Why do we have to point out what is “special” about their recognition?

In the end, it’s still segregation and borders racism. I know in my case, I want to noticed for my accomplishments and merits ALONE, and NOT because I am an Asian woman. Do not get me wrong: I am proud of my Asian heritage and proud of being a woman of the 21st century. But I do not want to have labels put upon me when I am recognized for my achievements. I just want to be recognized for being a living, breathing human being who has achieved great things.

It’s time we put those labels aside and be proud of who we are for what we do, and not for the color of our skin or our gender.