Category: Who I Am

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Who I Am

Daily Post Day 11: I want to be remembered for…

(Wow, already 11 days into 2011….it’s that “magical” day of the year, out of several!)

Today’s prompt asks what I want to be remembered for.

Back in late September/early October, I helped one of my close friends do a project for her graduate studies. She asked me to picture my own funeral, and, well, it was certainly a cathartic moment for me.

This was one of the questions asked during her project: “What do you want others to say about you at your funeral?”

So it goes along the same lines of this prompt.

I want to be remembered for my kindness/selflessness/carefree outlook. Over the course of my young life, I’ve heard others say that they feel drawn to me for some energy that I emanate; even perfect strangers approach me to ask for directions here in SF because they say “you seem like a kind person”.

It’s a good thing to be remembered for, to shine forth unintentionally in many ways.

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friends My San Francisco Chronicles NaNoWriMo Who I Am Work in Progress

NaNoWriMo: Day 5 & i live here: SF Opening

Yikes. I am writing this after midnight because the server was not responding earlier. Well, anyway, you get the point–this is about Day 5.

I did not write as much today; only made it to 1,083 words for today, but I’m still slightly ahead of the recommended total with 9,035 words. I was able to get myself writing for twenty minutes straight though, although I was slightly distracted a couple of times.

I still am not sure where I am going with my novel though. I know, no plot, no problem, right? It is just comforting to me to see that I am making more effort to write each day, even if everything doesn’t really make sense. First drafts are perfect for babble.

Today was a day of a lot of tasks, and then, to make the evening wonderful, I went to my friend Julie’s “i live here:SF” opening reception. I had participated in the project last October, and my, have the times changed! It was so delightful to see all of her prints up in the sprawling studio space and just meeting up with new and old friends. I was reminded of how I was inspired to get back to my writing again.

I will write a follow-up to my “i live here:SF” story when it is time to leave.

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The Great Outdoors travel Who I Am

An Unexpected Trip Through the Mountains

A little trip away from San Francisco is always a welcome break. This past weekend, I went up to Reno, Nevada on a whim with family. It was my first time to go there, and the drive up was a bit spooky since we were driving through the mountains at night. Driving back down the next day, though, I was in awe watching the mountains loom overhead as we coasted down I-80.

Somehow, when I see mountains, I just feel at peace. Every time I go up to Montana (every few years or so), I just feel tranquility within myself as I gaze upon the Rocky Mountains. Perhaps I’m meant to be in the mountains, and perhaps that’s why I feel drawn to relocate next year.

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holiday Hot Dog Days memories Who I Am

A Holiday Weekend of Reflection

(picture from July 2008)

Independence Day has become more toned down for me these days. Two years ago, when I still lived in my first apartment here, I was lucky to have a crowd-free view of the fireworks over Pier 39. That was when I worked at the hot dog stand, and I remember having to work with the crowds over that holiday weekend. We had a lot of out-of-towners, some polite and some not-so-polite. That was the last time I saw fireworks though.

These past two years, I’ve just spent the day as “just another day” for myself and my loved ones. Home-cooked meals, staying at home…just relaxing. I’ve grown tired of the huge celebrations here in San Francisco, mainly because the huge crowds just make me feel like a lone number, nobody special.

It’s good to be in a big city to have more opportunities for career, school, diversity, etc. I’ll admit that much. But becoming lost in a large crowd, becoming a number, is depressing to me.

On Independence Day, I found myself contemplating about my life throughout the years. The people I grew up with, the places I’ve traveled to and lived in, the people I’ve met along the way…and I continue to see how much change is coming upon the horizon. Settling down is not an option for me right now; there’s more out there for me than just what I have right now.

Last week, I read a blog post about how there’s no better time to focus on than right now. And it’s all been said before, but sometimes just reading someone else’s words reaffirms that thought. Why worry about the future? It’ll always be uncertain. Why fret about the past? It’s the past, it’s long gone, it’s static. Unchangeable. Focus on what’s going on right now. Seize the day.

I’m reminding myself about this every moment I get.

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family life Who I Am

Re-start–

It’s the first Monday back to work after five weeks of recovery and rest. Day by day, I continue to be in disbelief over the series of events that have occurred in the past month. Life is as it is, and many times we can’t fully explain if this is all real or just a hazy dream.

I’ve been in the process of rearranging things in my life, including my goals and my timeline. Sometimes we forget to slow down and enjoy each moment; we’re always on the go to find the next best thing, impatient to have time pass by a lot faster.

It’s amazing to see how easy it is for people to brush off long absences from the Internet as just “a hiatus” and nothing more. People move on from the Internet and its amusements everyday; friends come and go even in the virtual world, as some find out that they would rather spend time building relationships in the real world than the virtual world. People move on; when an online friend disappears for a long time, you may just think “Well, they’ve moved on with their life and they have better things to do than the Internet.”

I wish I could say that the past month away from the Internet was just a simple hiatus, but it wasn’t. At the time being, I am not ready to disclose fully what had happened to me–the memories are still too fresh for me, as are the feelings that are brought up when I think about the incident and how my family suffered through that first week watching me as I teetered back to life after that near-death experience.

For now, though, I will distance myself from that situation and start back on my life, however normal it can be now. There’s a time for everything, and right now, the time is to focus on the present and moving forward.