funny My San Francisco Chronicles

[Friday Fun] 7 Ways to Embarrass Yourself in San Francisco

My friend & I, San Francisco July 2007. Being tourists...
My friend & I, San Francisco July 2007. Being tourists…

I just had to get this out; so many pet peeves of mine have come up regarding San Francisco, or, how outsiders think of San Francisco. Several of these things below I committed myself when I first moved there in 2007. Here’s a little list for you to follow so you won’t embarrass yourself when you get to the City by the Bay:

  1. Call The City [San Francisco] “Frisco” or “San Fran” – Oh. My. Goodness. This drives me CRAZY every time! San Franciscans are very very sensitive to the way the City is referred as….”Frisco” and “San Fran” are NOT proper. Say this in front of a SF resident, get something tossed at you. Even I, who no longer resides in SF, get super-peeved when I hear people referring to SF that way. Always stay safe and say “SF” or “The City” or just plain “San Francisco”. You’ll get more points in fitting in that way.
  2. Make the mistake of walking hills for two blocks – Yes, I did this when I first moved there. I remember looking at a map while apartment hunting; saw that, once I got off the bus, I only needed to walk a few blocks this way and that way. Little did I know….this involved the hilly streets in Nob Hill. Oops. I was panting by the end of my trek and I didn’t even get the apartment there. Note: I was panting after my walk because this was way before I got acclimated to Denver’s higher altitude.
  3. Think MUNI & BART mean the same thing and go the same places – Another one of my mistakes. Actually, before I even moved out to San Francisco, I thought BART was the only transit system in the city. I remember asking people on a Livejournal community (Oh….so long ago) about good places near BART stations in SF. I got a lot of confused responses from people. I arrived and realized oops….BART = Bay Area Rapid Transit. I should have been asking about MUNI instead (also, there’s the Golden Gate Transit and several other Bay Area transit systems running amuck within the city).
  4. Take a MUNI train the wrong direction and end up in a bad neighborhood – Ok, this didn’t happen to me, but I’ve heard this happening before: PAY ATTENTION TO WHICH DIRECTION YOUR TRAIN IS GOING. Usually, the “Outbound” trains are going towards Sunset/Ocean Beach. “Inbound” is going downtown. The only line that’s a little different is the T line….and please, you don’t want to make the mistake of taking the T Line the wrong direction. You might end up in a really bad neighborhood.
  5. Prior to arrival, make a comment about how San Francisco is “sunny and warm” – Such an assumption about San Francisco and California in general: San Francisco is foggy and “cool” for the most part. Temperatures range from 50 – 70 degrees year-round. Denverites, you’ve already heard me comment on how the weather is there: 50 degrees in SF is when people wear their huge winter jackets. In Denver, we wear shorts at that temperature. 😉 Anyway, don’t be fooled to think all of San Francisco is ALWAYS sunny like Downtown/Chinatown/Fisherman’s Wharf. The city has many micro-climates, so you may be riding a MUNI train from downtown to Ocean Beach and come across patches of foggy neighborhoods, sunny neighborhoods, and even cloudy neighborhoods. Always be prepared for the micro-climates!
  6. Not realizing the high cost of living before you move here – Oh yes; one of my biggest mistakes, but then again, I had just graduated from college and had no idea of how different the cost of living was throughout the country. I landed in SF, went apartment-hunting, and found my first studio by Pier 39. Monthly rent? $1,450 … and I thought that was cheap. Oh…naïveté. Do your research beforehand! Ask any locals about certain neighborhoods if you can; generally, I’ve found living by the ocean (the Sunset or the Richmond districts) is relatively more affordable than living in SoMa or anywhere downtown. To find much more affordable places, you will have to look outside of The City, but then you’ll need to factor in commute time if you work in SF.
  7. Think Bay Area = San Francisco – Ok, so San Franciscans like to think they are the only ones that exist in the Bay Area. But, don’t fall for that trap: the San Francisco Bay Area consists of many more cities and land than you may think. The North Bay is connected to SF via the Golden Gate Bridge; the towns up this way range from rustic to slightly ritzy, depending on how north you go. The East Bay is connected to SF via the Bay Bridge; go here for Oakland, Berkeley, etc. Walnut Creek is a nice little town out east. Then, there’s the Peninsula, Silicon Valley, and the South Bay: generally, South Bay refers to San Jose area. Silicon Valley and the Peninsula are all the towns in between SF and San Jose.

And there you have it: a not-so-definitive guide about San Francisco and how to draw less attention to you, the tourist or the newbie in the city. Take heed of these guidelines, and soon you’ll be able to fit right into the crowds in SF.

#foodie funny

Daily Post Day 70: The War Between Chocolate and Vanilla

In one corner stands Vanilla!

In the other corner, Chocolate!

Who will win this match today?

We shall see…

Vanilla comes running up to the center in full force. Chocolate follows Vanilla’s moves and smacks its limbs upon the ground to intimidate Vanilla.

Vanilla doesn’t seem scared.

They mash into each other and fight.

“I’m much better than you will ever be!” screamed Chocolate.

“Nah, I don’t think so,” replied Vanilla nonchalantly. Vanilla flicks Chocolate between the eyes.

“Ouch…” Chocolate falls backwards. Vanilla claims the victory!

The crowd goes wild.

funny life

Daily Post Day 44: What’s My Age?

Today’s topic:

Have you ever lied about your age? Why?

Funny you ask me this. Because frankly I haven’t lied about my age before (I’m one of those overly honest people); instead, I have had ages dictated to me because of my appearance.

Once, my sister and I had gone into Applebee’s for dinner. The waitress immediately came up and asked us, “Want some Long Island Iced Teas?” At that point, we were only 15 years old (me) and 19 years old (my sister).

On my 21st birthday, I was elated that I could order my own alcoholic drink. I went out with my mom and sister for this momentous occasion. Our waiter? Didn’t even card me. Isn’t that illegal not to card even a legally-aged person?

Oh, and let’s not forget the times when I was mistaken as my niece’s and nephews’ mother. Different outings, but still the same outcome.

Stranger: “Hey, you guys are cute! Guess why? MOMMY!” (stranger points at me)

Me: ……..

Niece: “They’re silly! You’re not my mom! I’ll go tell them!”

Me: “No, that’s not necessary….”

So, despite the fact that I feel like I look my age (26 years old), I come off as being someone older, wiser, more mature. Not a bad thing at all, but it can be irritating sometimes.

family funny

Daily Post Day 31: My Own Reality TV Show

Funny that today’s prompt is asking about what kind of reality TV show I would have (if I had the chance).

I was actually talking about this with my two sisters over the holidays (mentioned this a few days ago, actually); we were making a joke about some drama our extended family was having by saying, “Hey, our family has more drama than a novel!”

What resulted from this discussion was that we would need to change our names to start with the same consonant (a la Kardashians). We three sisters then proceeded to laugh as we tried to figure out the best consonant to go with: W, C, L, H, or..could we go with the vowel, A?

We’d have an entertaining reality show…wouldn’t even need to be put into staged situations. Enough happens in our family (amusing things) to not need scripts; just check out my Tumblr if you need some proof. 😉

By the way, today (Jan. 31) is my birthday, and I feel so loved by all the messages I’ve received already today.

family funny

Daily Post Day 26: Funny People in My Life

I know many funny people. But the three funniest in my life?

  1. My father
  2. My mother
  3. One of my sisters (L)

Of course, if I could “cheat” on this list, I’d say my whole family cracks me up. There are things that happen that sometimes makes me feel like we could have an unscripted reality tv show. My sisters and I said we would have to change our names to start with the same letter (a la the Kardashians).