Categories
Thought of the Moment

"If you could…"

Yesterday, I was in an inquisitive mood and asked a colleague about her flute gigs/performances. “If you could make enough money off of it, would you make it your full-time job?” I asked her this since she was talking enthusiastically about a great recital she performed at recently with a new accompanist. I saw the light in her eyes grow brighter as she talked about how the performance left her feeling so happy and satisfied. I could tell that her true passion lay with her musical abilities.

The conversation gave me a lift in my already elevated mood; at the same time, though, it left me feeling somber about how reality hits all of us hard a lot. Many of us can’t do our true passion’s work full-time because it’s not stable income (and sadly oftentimes it is all about the money). Therefore, we go about having “day jobs” and then working on our true passion after we clock out from our day jobs. That’s how it goes in the artist’s world, it seems.

There are only a lucky few of us who either can make it, i.e., become well-known/famous, and quit their day jobs for what they love to do, or those of us who end up not caring so much about the money aspect and just go about with their artistic pursuits in pure bliss.

There are many times I think of these last two possibilities; many times, the second possibility leans on my mind more as I become more and more restless with everything. It’s not that I don’t enjoy what I’m doing at work now; I do enjoy it all and my co-workers/supervisors keep the atmosphere fresh and fun. But, in my mind, I feel a general restlessness over everything–a real need for change once again. It’s a natural thought that occurs within me; waiting for the next big thing.

I suppose that’s why I find it hard to really live in the moment sometimes. Always looking forward or analyzing the past–wondering, when will I finish this work-in-progress? When will I finally have some time to work on revising my drafts? It all moves too slowly for me, but I am trying to understand that patience will pay off in the end. There are cultures in the world where they must wait many many years for things to really get moving in their small villages–yet they do not complain.

I shouldn’t complain–I should just live in the moment, and understand that right now is not the time to worry about unfinished work. It’ll get finished when the time is right.

Categories
NaNoWriMo reflection travel

Traveling through the year

There’s something about visiting a new place: it truly gives me a sense of adventure and renewed optimism. I hadn’t realized how long it had been since I last traveled until I arrived at SFO this past Wednesday evening and thought, “Well, the last time I was here was in January.” I’d lost track of time and had since only been traveling within San Francisco or to Sacramento to visit relatives.

It explains the restlessness I have felt for quite awhile now; the need to be on-the-move, seeing/hearing/feeling new things all around me.

In other news, it seems like some people are already gearing up for NaNoWriMo this year; it’s a little under two months away now. I can’t believe it’s already September; the end of the year is always something I look forward to. As my brother has said, “It’s when everything ‘falls’ into place.” It’s a horrible pun, but it still makes sense: a lot of things seem to happen at the end of each year, and I always look forward to the travels ahead.

Categories
news Scribd short works

Updated Website Layout & New Short Abstract

I’ve been hit with a bout of inspiration today (or maybe this has been long coming all month). After working on the nitty-gritty “required” writing of the day, i.e., graduate school applications, I went ahead and started writing a short abstract titled “Raw Opening”. After tweaking this a little, I posted it on my Scribd account and finally decided, “Well, hey, time to upload my new website layout.”

So, after several months of not updating my website: Official Website

It’s a little more simple than last time; can’t go wrong with black & white. I keep thinking that I really need to update my skills in Photoshop and XHTML; my “About” page was giving me trouble in the updating process. It looks a little strange, but, for the time being, it’ll have to do.

The background behind the abstract: really, it all started off from a small Facebook status update while I was taking a break from my applications. The “raw” part comes from two origins:

1) The fact that I wrote this point-blank, with no real edits or anybody else viewing the writing beforehand; and

2) The protagonist’s own raw emotions, slowly exposing themselves over the course of the short piece.

Thoughts? Any constructive criticism and/or praise is welcome as always.

Categories
#amwriting change inspiration

Breaking Out.

Sometimes the same old thing really does become old and predictable. I look at my planner and I feel like “Oh, it’s time to do this or that.” And then I find myself grumbling and feeling like “Can’t I just not do it?”

There aren’t any real consequences when I break away from the mundane tasks of my weekends. Today, I went out and just walked around downtown, did some people-watching, and just reflected. I had a small notebook with me, and took down notes about anything that was flying around in my mind.

I found myself perching at different places of the city that I rarely visit. It’s good to get a fresh change of scenery, even if all I’m doing at these different places is walking or sitting, watching people and just thinking about life.

With events from this past week, I found myself inspired to write a small flash piece. It was only 938 words, but that’s just the first draft; I’m sure I can expand upon the piece when I go back and edit/rewrite.

Here’s to another day.

Categories
#amwriting Novel 1 reflection

"How’s Your Writing?"

Yesterday, one of my co-workers had asked me about how my writing’s been coming along. At first I answered, “It’s nonexistent,” but then I took those words back immediately and thought a little more carefully about my response.

I wouldn’t say it’s nonexistent–everyday I’m writing in my paperback journals, and sometimes, even writing myself emails–it’s more like my outlet for sharing my work is on hiatus. I write daily, but more about my own feelings than anything else.

I’ve been brewing ideas about how to go about my rewrite for Novel 1, but it seems the ideas need some time to incubate. Also, I’ve realized in the past month that it’s just futile to beat myself up over not reaching so many mini-goals that I set for myself on a daily basis. It all stems from the fact that I am a perfectionist, and when I don’t accomplish everything I want to accomplish during a certain period of time, I feel at a loss.

Well, no more. These days I’m trying to let things slide a little, to just take things a little more easily so I don’t burn out my motivation and my creative juices.

There’s a time and place for everything. When my creative muse wants to come back and knock on my door again, I’ll be ready.