change life

Three Months of Change


So, it may appear I haven’t updated this blog since March. Not true at all; I was merely backdating a lot of entries in the first three months of this year. And then I fell behind. So my attempt at The Daily Post has failed. But, I figured it was too trivial of a quest for me to get stressed out over.

There’s been a lot going on in the past three months though, especially being back in my hometown. I don’t mean to sound cliche, but I’ve done a lot of soul-searching. Questioning. Grappling with my own mind.

Because in the end, that’s what I need to be taking care of anyway: my own mind, my own life, myself. For so long, I put myself second to everyone else around me. I felt I had to take care of everyone, that they needed me or else they wouldn’t survive. Meanwhile, I suffered mentally and emotionally for myself.

Only now, with my own control taken away from me (ever so slightly by my parents), I realize all this time that I should have been focusing on myself more than anything.

And I should be treating myself a lot better than I have been.

So that’s the sum of all that’s happened these past three months. More will be written about specific topics soon.

change Life Decisions My San Francisco Chronicles

Daily Post Day 20: The Most Important Thing

The most important thing I’m putting off…

Well, since I am writing this entry after-the-fact, I can safely say right now that I put off listening to my gut feeling about leaving San Francisco.

Until everything literally blew up in front of me.

And now I see clearly that I put off this decision for too long. Two years ago, I had wanted to leave San Francisco anyway. But I decided to stay because of other reasons. And last year, I couldn’t leave because of my accident.

But now, with this waiting period before business school, what else can I do? Wait around San Francisco? Circumstances say “no”.

So I’m glad I now see that I have a way out.

change goals list

Daily Post Day 13: Things to Look Forward to in 2011

There’s much to look forward to this year, because I’d already established from the end of 2010 that 2011 is going to be momentous.

A few things I’m looking forward to:

– Moving (again) to Colorado for business school

– Spending more time with my family

– Running my first races (5K/10K)

– Submitting writing to more lit mags and contests

– Refreshing my memory with Spanish and Japanese

– Reading all my Kindle books and my business-school prep books

And so much more…a year of learning, a year of growth.

change genres goals life Work in Progress

Life’s Rollercoaster & A New 101 List

There’s never really a moment of rest, it seems. In this past month, I’ve seen myself go on quite a┬ároller-coaster┬áride:

– Feeling stuck and unsure of the next step

– The next step is revealed to me through my graduate admission

– Finances and interim location are discussed and cause for me to over-think

– The dust settles and I’m still pondering.

That’s just how it always goes. And at times the pace goes so quickly that I forget to post during the week. My weekends again fall on Mondays and Tuesdays, so I’m usually away from the computer on those two days. Or, if I am at the computer, I am highly distracted by my Twitter feed.

At least in this past week I have been back to writing again. I’m currently working on a short historical fiction piece for a client; not exactly a genre I dabble in normally, but it’s good to try something different. I met with a fellow writing friend today and felt empowered/motivated just sitting next to her, typing away on my AlphaSmart. I really should be more mobile with my writing sessions–after all, it’s good to change the scenery a bit.

I’ve also been working on a new 101 list to start on October 1; I had started my first 101 list on January 1, 2008, and although I lost interest in my list at the end of that year, as I near the 1,001st day of that list I see that I still managed to achieve many of the goals I initially listed on that first day. So, October 1 will mark a new cycle of 1,001 days for me. So far, these goals are more focused than my first list, and it pleases me to see how I have matured over the past 2.75 years.

I wonder if I should make a new blog to write about my new goals or if I should just mention them all on this blog. I have a tendency to get too distracted if I have too many projects to work on. I suppose blogs aren’t too hard to keep up, but the frequency of updates sometimes gets me.

Well, onward towards another weekend for the rest of the world.

change time travel

Travels Wrapped Up For the Season; Now What?

I’ve been back from Las Vegas since Friday, but of course it took me a few days to adjust back to daily life. It’s always like that after a vacation/trip: takes a few days to get over the exhilaration felt on the trip. A few ups and downs in moods due to the realization that “all good things must come to an end” and having to face reality again.

Summer is almost over (in a few weeks), and now that I look back on the past few months, I realize I’d done more traveling this year than in the past few years of living in San Francisco. Granted, quite a few trips this year were road trips, but still. I’ve had the opportunity to really see more of California and Nevada this summer.

But, as the title of this post suggests, I’m all finished with travels for now. And of course, the question goes…well, what next?

Sometimes things don’t go as planned…well, not sometimes, but most of the time. I find that that’s what I have been trying to grapple with this year as I keep walking along this path and noticing that many things are not going the way that I want them to. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I’ve had trouble trying to come to terms with this realization.

Doesn’t help when I start to wallow in negativity and telling myself “Well, gee, you’re not going to amount to anything since you keep dragging your feet.” Everything has a time and place though. I’m trying to be patient about everything and just enjoying life day by day. Isn’t that all I can do? Enjoy the present and let the future unwrap itself at its own terms?

I suppose we shall see.