The mind is a powerful thing, but it also is an unruly thing.
I write this today after a meltdown yesterday afternoon. The things that my mind conjured up for the situation–and what is the reality. I get wrapped up into my own thoughts too easily, which is common among others, I believe.
This time around though, even though I could have cried and moped for days like I used to, I didn’t. I took a few hours, the rest of the day really, to myself and then just realized–that, that everything is going to be okay. Setbacks happen. I tweeted out that I should be used to heartbreak by now, and when I let that thought simmer, I realized that yes, I am ‘used to’ the feeling, and I am used to healing and bouncing back by now.
I am.
Last year, I had episodes of sadness that spanned a few days. I’d feel guilty for bringing down my friends around me as I tried to work myself out of the rut. This episode last night, though, is now over. I got up after my bout of crying and got dinner; wrote emails to decision makers; and just stayed busy.
And this morning, that’s the same. There’s no time for me to stay in the dumps for a few days. Today I present again at Ignite Denver (and this time over a sillier topic than before). I have received emails and tweets about meetings and a photo shoot. I need to pack for my trip out west before I get to the airport Friday evening. The conference I’m going to, Launch Festival, is going to be life-changing for me and for TAOpivot.
So, what’s the big deal with a setback like what I experienced yesterday? Just have to bounce back quickly and realize that life is good and that I cannot allow for low times to get to me.
Dress well for a networking event! Maybe don’t match with your friends, but it may be fun…
You probably saw my post from last month about how to masterfully ruin a networking opportunity. How about now, we focus on the positive of what you CAN and SHOULD do to have a solid networking experience? Here are seven tried-and-true tips (both for IRL and virtual situations) from yours truly:
Aim to talk to 5-10 new people at an event – As I said in my other blog post, get out of your comfort zone. Walk up to strangers, introduce yourself (first and last name plus 30-second pitch), and see where the conversation goes. My plan of action is to talk to people who look idle/eating quietly in a corner/etc. They are probably just as nervous as you are, so break the ice first.
Bring your business cards ANYWHERE you go – Pretty much speaks for itself, but I want to emphasize this so much. Bring your business cards to any kind of event, outing, etc. My good friend Davina taught me this because, if you’re always on your game, you WILL be networking wherever you go. Who knows–that person in front of you at the grocery store could be your next employer/customer/best friend. If possible, ask the other party for his or her business card, too; if he/she does not have a business card, just get their contact information for future follow-up.
Continue the conversation via email, LinkedIn, coffee meetups, etc. – Getting a business card in return is great; what’s even BETTER is to follow up properly! Find your new contact on LinkedIn (if you’re comfortable) or send them an email. Ask to meet up for coffee or lunch sometime so you can get to know each other better and how you can possibly work together.
Make introductions between your connections – If you feel both parties would benefit from knowing each other, introduce them to one another, whether in-person or via email. I wrote a post last week about how to properly make introductions. Who knows–these connections may make introductions on your behalf in the future, which equals more exposure, more business.
Keep the conversation relatively balanced between you and new contact – If you’re at a networking event, make sure to ask questions and listen to what the other person is saying. Don’t tune out or only jabber on about yourself. Also, it’s best to keep the conversation on a professional level unless you two really hit it off.
Dress properly for the occasion – Should be a no-brainer, but I still see people show up in t-shirt and jeans to a non-startup networking event. Know what kind of crowd is attending beforehand so you won’t end up embarrassing yourself and making a weird/bad impression at the event. I say it’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed.
Know when to move on from one connection – Sometimes you will meet people at events who actually don’t want to connect further. I have run into this situation, and I feel that, 1-2 follow-up emails are good until you decide to cross the contact off your list. Don’t be overly pushy; if the other party no longer wants to connect, then just let the situation be. You will meet more connections in the future!
I feel like the word ‘networking’ definitely gives a ‘bad vibe’ to some people, but I believe you should embrace every moment you get. This is exactly like dating: you’re not going to meet anyone new if you stay inside your own apartment/house.
Vowed to @jonrrossi that I am never ever ever getting back together with #SF . #Denver has my heart completely!
I was talking about my upcoming trip to San Francisco to attend the LAUNCH Festival Mar. 4-6 and how I wanted to get TAOpivot‘s name out in San Francisco. Jon looked at me as if I had grown a second head: “Now WHY would you want to do that?”
No, I’d never think to move back to San Francisco. I’m visioning a branch of TAOpivot out there eventually, but I wouldn’t move headquarters from Denver at all.
Explaining where I’ve lived before to others as I meet them out here, people oftentimes seem confused as to why I’d choose Denver over San Francisco. And when I try to explain why I moved here, it’s even harder for me to articulate.
My four years spent in San Francisco were a mixed bucket. Mixed blessings. I moved out there right after college, bright-eyed and hopeful. I soon found the job market there highly competitive and, at every job I applied to, I felt I was an outsider coming in.
I was lucky to have a few friends who lived in the Bay Area to make my move a smoother transition; also have relatives out there, so that didn’t hurt either.
Still, during those four years, I always felt on the outside looking in. I had many wonderful experiences learning about life there; but I also learned that San Francisco wasn’t my place to establish my base. I didn’t feel a sense of community there.
And rent was just so damn expensive.
I fell in love with Denver in late 2008, when I traveled here on a whim to see Dir en grey‘s last concert on their US tour. The concert was advertised as being in Denver, but was actually at the Gothic Theatre in Englewood. I mulled over my decision earlier that week, wondering if I was being crazy for going to a place I’d never been to before and all by myself.
I went ahead and booked the tickets and flew out to Denver. I studied the RTD system and got around town via the buses. I noticed people were different in Denver: at the concert, the fans were actually nice to each other. We moshed a little and I accidentally hit someone during the concert; I apologized and the person said, “Oh, don’t worry about it.”
The previous week, when Dir en grey was in San Francisco, I was clawed in the face by another fan because I was taking “her” guitar pick that Die (one of the members) had thrown out. Also, the fans in SF just seemed more rabid and self-serving.
That was the only aspect I had noticed on that short trip to Denver, the kindness of strangers. But it was enough to move me past the tipping point and make me start looking at graduate programs in Denver. I wanted a ticket out of San Francisco after that; due to circumstances that came up in 2010, I had to stay longer in SF than I wanted to.
Sip n Paint, January 2013.
But in August 2011, I finally got to Denver as a resident. And I don’t regret the decision at all; in Denver, I have found the warmth I’d longed for in San Francisco. I have found the sunshine, the mix of urban, suburban, and even rural life in the surrounding areas outside of Denver proper. I have found my community and really feel at home here. I like going to events and running into people I recognize from other areas of my life; I like that small-town feeling I grew up with, without all the vicious cliques and gossip. I like being anonymous when I want to be in certain parts of the city.
Also, Denver’s cost of living is so much more affordable than San Francisco ever will be.
So, for the long story of it all, this is why I’ll always choose Denver over San Francisco. West Coast can have the fog lovers scratching by in close quarters; I’ll take Denver’s sunshine and happy people anytime.
I am in the business of connecting others; ok, maybe not so much “in the business” but I know I do this on a near-daily basis, especially here in Denver. It is just a natural skill I have (I “blame” it on my dad). If you struggle with how to properly introduce people to each other (especially via email), here are steps to making that introduction effective:
1. Talk with both parties individually first – I do this to make sure that both parties would be interested in talking with one another. This is out of pure courtesy; I would want someone to tell me they’re making an introduction on my behalf before they actually follow through with the action. Who knows, maybe someone is not interested in “meeting other people” at the time. Save yourself some time by just checking in on both parties first.
2. Send the email to both parties – Yes, but follow this format:
Hi Sally and Tom,
I would like to introduce the two of you to one another because I believe you would work well together/can do business together/fill in the blank.
Sally, Tom __(fill in profession, business, etc. here)______.
Tom, Sally __(fill in profession, business, etc. here)______.
Hope you guys can connect!
Sincerely,
Helene
3. (If you are on the receiving end of an introduction) Reply all to the email (the other party & your colleague) – Thank your colleague for making the introduction and start discussing with the new colleague about possibly meeting up for coffee and talking. I suggest “reply all” just because it’d be nice for your colleague making the introduction to see that you have taken the next step. Another courtesy move…
4. If the thread moves forward between you and the new colleague, remove the introducer from the email thread – Mainly just to not clog up another email box; the introducer only needs to be included in the first email between you and your new colleague.
And there you have it: colleagues connecting with one another, thanks to you! If the introduction does not pan out to anything more than that, that is okay. You have done your job in the situation and should move on at this point. Hope this helps!
Many holidays occurred this week: Lunar New Year (ongoing celebration until the 20th), Mardi Gras/Shrove Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, and tomorrow, Valentine’s Day.
I’m sure at an earlier point in my life, I celebrated all these holidays in one week. But this year is different for me: it is my first time to partake in Shrove Tuesday and Ash Wednesday, and the Lenten Season. I grew up in a Baptist church in my hometown; in my early 20s, I dabbled in nondenominational Christian churches. And this year, I found my way to the Episcopal Church.
In the Episcopal Church, I have found my family. I have found what I need to fulfill my religious needs. And, like a young child taking it all in for the first time, I am observing all that the church observes. It’s an exhilarating feeling…
…although, I also know, I must observe the holidays of my lineage: the Lunar New Year, the traditions through that, and the beliefs behind the Lunar New Year.
Maybe some think that my observance of Chinese and Christian holidays doesn’t add up; but I know I cannot forget where my ancestors came from. Both my Chinese heritage and the Christian tradition have resonated side by side throughout my whole life. I don’t see it as a conflict of religion/beliefs; I see it as my way (and my family’s way) of observing our mother heritage and our American upbringing in the Church.
It’s an interesting way of seeing life through two different lenses.
