Timing seems to be the key to most anything–whether it’s good timing or bad timing, somehow things, events, etc. happen at the most opportune (or inopportune) times.
I am hoping good timing will come along for me soon because all of this waiting around is making me restless.
I think I have finally come to realize (after living here for the past six months) that hell, life is as it is–nothing will ever stay “the same”/stable, no matter how hard I try to keep it that way. It’s best to think of everything as “Great, for the time being” but prepare myself for even more changes to come.
I realize that a lot of things happen for a reason, that there shouldn’t ever be any regrets. Going from one job to another in the past five months–yes, it has been frustrating, but everything happened for good reason. With each job I have worked at these past few months, I have learned a lot about myself, about others, about life. True, it is cliche to say, but hell, I seriously feel that these experiences have all allowed for me to grow.
Where will I head next? That question always looms in my mind now, but I shall also remember to stay in the mindset of seizing the day, as the saying goes. Charge on!
There’s a high I get when I know I am making someone else happy through gifts or loving gestures. Sometimes I wonder whether I really do all of this out of pure love/devotion or if I do it only in vain.. I say to myself that I want to do it all out of selfless love, but at the same time, I secretly hope for reciprocation sometime. It doesn’t have to be immediate; it can be built over time.
I tend to do this, give my all, and many times I have been hurt as a result of my giving nature. Still, there aren’t any regrets through these actions–I did what I had to do, and whatever the results are, I am happy with them.
Well, it has been five months since I moved to San Francisco. Time has passed by so quickly that I forget how I ended up here. So much has happened as well–it’s all been a blur.
Times are still rocky, but I am feeling more and more that this is my new home. I didn’t even realise I had been here for so long until a few weeks ago, when I took my first trip out of the city since August.
I have met a few people so far, but there are still so many people I haven’t met yet. I have become used to the sights and sounds though; I walk around the neighborhoods like I’ve lived here for years. It’s amazing to see how much a person can adjust to in such a short amount of time.
I watch myself kind of shedding away layers of my former self as the time goes by. For one, I seem to be growing distant from the J-music world. Sure, I still listen to a lot of J-music, but I don’t really care to keep up-to-date with the latest news anymore. I also find myself distancing from J-music fans…maybe I feel we can’t connect anymore due to how different our lives have become.
I guess this is how life goes–they say, as you grow older, you end up losing more and more friends until all you have left are your closest friends (and family, of course). I don’t mind that really. I find myself growing tired of trying to seek out too many people.