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#amwriting

Practicing First Person Writing

Title page of Three Hundred Aesop's FablesImage via Wikipedia

Oh, the title might not be what I mean to say–I’m always writing in first person through my blogs, Facebook, Twitter, my personal diary…I don’t need the practice of writing in the first person necessarily.

But when I write flash fiction, short stories, etc. in the first person, I feel very strange and unnatural. As I’m writing, I can’t help but feel, “Wait, am I writing the truth or is this all a foray into my creative thoughts?”

I write, and I write, and I write. And the more I write in the first person, the more uncomfortable I feel. I don’t like feeling like I’m projecting my personal thoughts out onto my protagonist; I mean, I don’t want readers to think that I really have these pre-meditated thoughts that my often-twisted characters have. Oh…but then I stop and realize, “Hey, don’t take it all so seriously.”

Another reason why it might all seem unnatural to me is because my protagonists tend to be men. I don’t like writing with female protagonists, because I always make them sound too whiny, needy, girly, etc. The theme of the lady in distress finding her place in the world–it seems so overdone these days. I’d rather not add another story to that pile. And I’d rather not be marginalized to a certain genre.

So that leaves me with wanting to change my stories to the third person so readers feel more omniscient with all that’s going on. At least then I wouldn’t feel like my voice was coming through the story with first person.

But somehow these days I’m always drafting stories in the first person. Perhaps the subconscious is wanting to leak out that first person voice and strengthen it.

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holiday Hot Dog Days memories Who I Am

A Holiday Weekend of Reflection

(picture from July 2008)

Independence Day has become more toned down for me these days. Two years ago, when I still lived in my first apartment here, I was lucky to have a crowd-free view of the fireworks over Pier 39. That was when I worked at the hot dog stand, and I remember having to work with the crowds over that holiday weekend. We had a lot of out-of-towners, some polite and some not-so-polite. That was the last time I saw fireworks though.

These past two years, I’ve just spent the day as “just another day” for myself and my loved ones. Home-cooked meals, staying at home…just relaxing. I’ve grown tired of the huge celebrations here in San Francisco, mainly because the huge crowds just make me feel like a lone number, nobody special.

It’s good to be in a big city to have more opportunities for career, school, diversity, etc. I’ll admit that much. But becoming lost in a large crowd, becoming a number, is depressing to me.

On Independence Day, I found myself contemplating about my life throughout the years. The people I grew up with, the places I’ve traveled to and lived in, the people I’ve met along the way…and I continue to see how much change is coming upon the horizon. Settling down is not an option for me right now; there’s more out there for me than just what I have right now.

Last week, I read a blog post about how there’s no better time to focus on than right now. And it’s all been said before, but sometimes just reading someone else’s words reaffirms that thought. Why worry about the future? It’ll always be uncertain. Why fret about the past? It’s the past, it’s long gone, it’s static. Unchangeable. Focus on what’s going on right now. Seize the day.

I’m reminding myself about this every moment I get.

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change goals

Shifting focus, ever so slightly…

Warrington College of Business at the Universi...Image via Wikipedia

A quick little note before I head out for an eventful Friday–

This week has been an off-week for my writing. I had a lot of momentum, motivation, inspiration, what-have-you last week and was pounding out stories and feeling rejuvenated reading my drafts. This week, lost that steam as I came to the realization of how I must prepare for my GMAT preparation class coming up in a week and a half. Sigh. Here comes along a slight obstacle in the flow of my writing, but I know it is necessary for me to focus on these classes since I want to improve my GMAT score to get into business school for next year.

Yes, I like being in both worlds, of business and creativity. I suppose they go hand-in-hand in many ways, but the common thread of thought seems to be that people “can’t” be both. Oh, but then again, who wants to be one-dimensional?

There will always be periods of ups-and-downs, but I know I gotta work through it all with the same amount of strength and courage. Onward towards another holiday weekend! I hope you all enjoy Independence Day (if you’re in the US, of course). Have a good one and see you again on Tuesday!

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genres memories reading short works

Brief Flashes & Promising Second Looks

paul-hornschemeierImage by life serial via Flickr
Over the weekend, I’ve spent a lot of time catching up on magazines (both consumer and literary) and refreshing my memory with my short stories. Most of them I had drafted back in 2008; most of them are rather short, under 500 words. It’s sobering and also enlightening to look back on what I wrote even just two years ago–the scenery around me may change, but these words have stayed static, capturing my thoughts from that period of time.

Some things I noticed from reading my drafts has been the common thread of dark themes. I consciously know that, for myself, I do not want to be marginalized with writing something fluffy and light. Oh sure, I do like reading the occasional chick lit book; but for me to write a story in that genre? I can’t see myself doing it without laughing at myself. Plus, I feel like the “plight of the woman” is all too overplayed these days.

I can also see how, when I asked my sister and a few colleagues to critique one of my stories last month, that I do have a tendency to “tell too much and not show enough”. I know I ramble when I am writing creatively, even in blogs; the irony is that I have a business background from school, so you’d think I’d learned about keeping things short and simple.

Anyway, I found a few promising drafts to polish up for submissions, but I continue to find myself distracted by my ideas for new writing, new blogs, etc. I find that I lose focus sometimes rather too easily and that I want to do more than what I can actually pile onto my plate.
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#amreading Review Time

Book Review: Will the World End in 2012?

Last Judgement - painted by Michelangelo and h...Image via Wikipedia

Note: Special post today because I just finished reading this book. Regular posts will be back on Tuesday!
I read Will the World End in 2012? With a skeptic mind due to the fact that I’ve been wishy-washy on all the theories of the “end of the world”. To say the least, the book was entertaining to read yet I also learned a little bit from it. There were a few theories I had never heard of before, and these theories were essentially shot down as possibilities of the end of the world in the book anyway.
What bothers me slightly is how Dr. Hundley and his publisher market the book as an unbiased look at the end of the world theories. The cover of the book clearly states the book is a Christian guide, and the book even ends with a few suggestions of how, if the reader was not a Christian before, he or she should consider bringing Christ into his or her life.
Look, I am a Christian, and I believe in sharing the word of God with others. But I’m not sure if Hundley’s efforts in writing and marketing this book for a “wider audience” would be effective unless his publisher specifically requested for the book to be stocked in the 2012 literature sections of major bookstores. If not, the book may only reach Christian readers, which, although that’ll still be a success for the book, it may not be as effective as Hundley had wanted it to be.
Overall though, I found that the book was easy-to-read and was insightful in other aspects. Recommended for those who are curious about all the 2012 theories floating out there (Hundley analyzes the ten most-popular theories).

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I had finished reading this book late last night, which probably wasn’t the brightest idea since it made me feel a little agitated before bedtime. Yes, let’s read about fire and brimstone right before bedtime! But I only had part of the book left to read so I figured, why not.

On the subject of 2012, I seem to be surrounded by people who are poking at the end-of-the-world talk with jokes. For instance–

My brother: “Well, in terms of car loans, we can go with the 5-year-one because the world will end in 2012 and we won’t need to finish paying off the car!”

At least some of us can look at the situation with a chuckle.

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