Categories
change memories My San Francisco Chronicles

At a Precipice in Life.

Tonight is my final night in San Francisco; then, I will return to Denver where my heart truly belongs.

This trip was meant to be more about business for TAOpivot; however, it quickly became a trip of revisiting my past and having flashbacks to growing pains. I now realize how I really do not belong in this city anymore; that really, Denver has taken me by the hand and stolen me away for good. I don’t mind that. It’s good to close up the old wounds now.

Coincidentally, too, this trip came at a time of great change for me anyway. I hadn’t planned for it that way; I just thought I could duck out of Denver for a week before summer classes. All that has changed now as I go full-time with TAOpivot. I’m following my gut and I pray that this is the right direction to go.

My time here in San Francisco has been good for the past several days; seeing old friends, reflecting on our pasts together….I hear myself talking to them and hear a different Helene than when I lived here. I am more certain, more sure of myself and my direction in life. I see the glow in their faces as I talk about how things have been for me in Denver; I see that I have made the right choices in the past two years.

May the next two years prove to be even better.

Categories
change

The Sleepy Lagoon

Oh, where has the year gone? It’s already June and my last update was on Pi Day (03/14). What to say after being away for several months?

Well, time always shows that changes are inevitable. My point in life right now is so different from my previous post that I am still taking time to fathom all that has happened.

I made a big life decision last week. And right now I am in limbo between happiness (that I am following my calling) and panic (oh snap, need to get health insurance and other matters taken care of…eep!).

But, I am content with my decision. I’ve talked with a few close friends about this and they are 100% behind me. They said I may experience regret. So far only inklings leak into my mind.

Many times, life is very hard to explain. Things just kind of fall into my lap and then I wonder, “Now what?”

More updates coming in the next week. Lots of things happening for me in Denver now.

Categories
community Denver Life Twitter

Coworking Space Ship Lands in Denver

I really enjoy my life here in Denver.

I want one of these mugs.

Despite others telling me I shouldn’t attend a conference (“mini” one, at that) the night before finals, I went to the Coworking Space Ship, run by Deskmag and Deskwanted. Thankfully, the Denver stop was at Creative Density, a coworking space in town that I’ve been a loyal member to since the beginning of the year. I’ve begun to call a few of the other members my “CD fam” because I love spending time with them!!

Anyway, #CoWoSpaceShip was amazing. I love learning about new, emerging trends in the business world. Craig, the owner of Creative Density, was so animated and passionate about the industry (wouldn’t exactly call ‘coworking’ an industry…a sector?). Loved to meet the other cowork space owners from Denver & Boulder, too.

And of course, I was live-tweeting, which I have been doing for the DU Marketing Association on-campus just out of my own obsession with Twitter. Having the iPad has made me more enthusiastic about tweeting live from events. I just love sharing information. During my live-tweeting, I was discovered by a Brazilian coworking space, Pto de Contato. My my, the world is small!

The whole #CoWoSpaceShip night went “overtime” a bit as we continued asking questions to the local panelists and hearing insights from Carsten of Deskmag. I never knew that the coworking movement began in Europe, albeit it wasn’t coined “coworking” until 2005 in our very own City by the Bay (San Francisco). I never got a chance to visit a coworking space in San Francisco when I resided there, but perhaps next time I go visit.

I am happy that I attended the free event because I always enjoy learning new things. It was well worth the night off from studying. Besides, I think I did decently on my finals today. What’s done is done, right?

 

Categories
race Slice of Life Thought of the Moment

Scars in Humanity.

Kitty looking out the window.

This weekend has been tough to get through, all because of two incidents that occurred yesterday:

  • A young man outside of an eatery came up to me and asked me, “Will you please buy me a drink? If you do, ‘me love you long time.'”. I was right by campus and just strolling to Starbucks when this happened. The comment brought up childhood trauma over when other kids would make fun of me for being Asian. I cannot believe that people still say stuff like this in the present day. I was shaken up by the comment and felt that, no matter how hard I try, that injustice will still follow me throughout my life. How can you judge me by the way I look? I thought we’d all worked past this already. I am American. I can only be what I can be.
  • Last night, I was making soap in my kitchen when I received a knock from the apartment advisor. He showed me a note that somebody in the building had left him, saying that my cat was a bother. So he asked me to “Please get rid of it by next week”. I closed the door and the tears of anger came forth: what has Kitty Softpaws done to deserve this? What have I done to deserve this? Kitty is solely an indoor cat and is a mere 4-5lbs. She doesn’t make THAT much noise. And…well, really, who could have done this to me? I know nobody in the apartment building aside from a few first-floor residents. Is this a malicious act against me?

These thoughts continue to swirl through my mind today as I wonder what wrong I have done to have this happen to me. It all wouldn’t bother me, but it’s a week before finals and I’m already stressed out from schoolwork/company planning. Why now?

I question humanity when things like this happen. I know there will always be evil in the world, there will always be low points in life; yet, why this? Why now? The racist comment was enough to set me off yesterday, but then the notice that I’d have to “rid” of Kitty.

Do people believe that pets are easy to just “get rid of”? Throw them away, like they’re a worn-out clothing item? Do people believe that denying happiness to an individual is acceptable? I tell you, I have Kitty Softpaws to keep me company and keep me sane. Last quarter was rough for me to stay all alone in the apartment: a lot of emotional roller coasters and overanalyzed thoughts. Don’t I deserve this spot of happiness in my life?

I know we can never see things from “the other side”, as hard as we may. But I feel that we can all benefit if we just take a step back from the situations we face and see things more objectively. Insulting someone on their ethnicity is not right: would you want someone to call you a racist name in return? Why do you think it’s ok to hurt another individual because they appear “different” from you?

Too much on my mind. I know this too shall pass, but right now it’s hard to move forward without a trace of anger.

Categories
feelings time Who I Am

Reading in real-time/Nightmares

I had a nightmare last night.

I was reading a thick book and experiencing all the contents of the book in real-time. At one point, I looked out the window and saw a plume of dark grey smoke. It permeated through the air and, although I was safe inside the building, I started to hear people screaming outside.

Everyone was turning into zombies, or simply just undead.

Those of us who were inside, we tried to save ourselves, but one by one dropped and became a zombie.

Many years later, the epidemic dissipated and I found myself at the same age I had been when the zombies began to appear.

I found my family home and saw that my family was safe and also looked the same in age.

We were happy to have each other, but we heard that there were still some zombies roaming in the wild.

 

 

Then, I woke up.