Setbacks happen but the real test of strength is how you bounce back.
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Category: life
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5 Signs You Need a Vacation
Yes. That is today’s topic, mainly because I find myself desperately needing a break after this crazy month. I am sure many of you can relate to nearing the brink of insanity with too much work, too much networking, too much everything! Here are five surefire ways to know if you have hit a huge mental block:
- You lose track of what appointments you have, overlooking one appointment twice – I am sitting here feeling like the flakey person I abhor the most: I have made plans twice to talk with a wonderful connection from California, and both times I forgot about the call. I am not saying my burnt-out state is any excuse for missing my appointments; I would be surprised if this connection would still want to talk with me after my flakiness. Still, too much on one plate = unintentionally missed appointments…
- You forget what day of the week it is because you are constantly working – Another thing I am guilty of; I usually enjoy working on the weekends because there’s less noise coming through in my mailboxes. Still, this morning I woke up and thought it was Tuesday, when in fact it is Monday.
- You write emails to the wrong clients – HAS NOT happened to me, thank goodness (fingers crossed). Well, if you lose track of who all you are writing to, it is a sign that you are quite overwhelmed. Take a step back and breathe. This is also when being more organized would help.
- You sleep a whole day away accidentally – Yes, I actually did this yesterday: I slept a good, healthy eight hours from 10pm – 7am, but then I hit snooze and continued sleeping until 3:30pm. I thought I was well-rested, but I guess I was not at all if I slept so long.
- You cannot focus on the task at hand, even though there’s a deadline – Maybe you have worked so many hours that you have even forgotten about deadlines. Wait, that proposal was due this morning? Oops. Another deadline missed…
I am sure there are many other signs to be aware of, but really….if you see that any of this is starting to happen in your life, it may be time to think of a vacation, or a small break.
This week is the last week before my family is in town for our Easter vacation trip. I am determined to tie up as many loose ends as I can before next week so I will be available to fully enjoy time with my family. Besides, I have been pretty much going nonstop since mid-January. It is about time to take a break.
I woke up a few hours ago and was checking my Twitter feed, as usual. I kept coming across negative/grumpy posts from one user that I finally decided that I didn’t have to sit there and read this person’s negativity. I could simply unfollow.
The thought that crossed my mind though: I know quite a few people like that. They plaster themselves on social networks and constantly complain about how miserable they are, how much life sucks. This could all be taken as just “Oh, he’s a whiner.” or “Oh, she’s had a bad day.”
But what if these tweets, status updates, etc. are actually cries for help? What if, for these people, their lives TRULY suck?
I wouldn’t recommend leaving these people, but I would recommend suggesting to them to seek professional help. This recommendation is coming from myself, who has been in counseling for over five years. Am I seriously depressed all the time? No, but I get bouts of it. What I’ve noticed over the years is that, no matter how much I may try to avoid talk therapy, I need it, all the time. Yes, I can always talk about my sadness, my problems, with friends and family. They do care. But, since they are not psychologists or counselors, they can only do so much.
I’ve experienced this myself as well. Having a few colleagues over the years complain to me about how miserable they are, I found that their energy was draining all of mine. I wanted to help so badly, but I noticed that, after awhile, I was only talking to a wall that wouldn’t take any advice I’d give. I didn’t have any more resources to pull from to help the other party get out of their rut.
And that’s the thing. When these same individuals resort to complaining about life on social networks, it just makes things worse for the rest of us. We sit here, wanting to console our friends & family that are going through hard times, but after awhile, we can do no more. We can’t take care of everybody. We’re not all counselors or psychologists. If we’re true to ourselves and to our troubled loved ones, we would recommend seeking therapy.
Of course, in our society (the American society), talk about therapy and mental health is so taboo. But it doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to feel ashamed that you’re seeking a psychologist’s help to get through your dark times. You’re helping yourself by doing this instead of wallowing away and avoiding it!
So, next time you see someone complaining about life on your social networks, give them a little nudge to perhaps seek talk therapy. They don’t need to be seriously, clinically depressed to seek that. It’ll make them feel better and more proactive about their life if they just go through a bit of talk therapy.
The mind is a powerful thing, but it also is an unruly thing.
I write this today after a meltdown yesterday afternoon. The things that my mind conjured up for the situation–and what is the reality. I get wrapped up into my own thoughts too easily, which is common among others, I believe.
This time around though, even though I could have cried and moped for days like I used to, I didn’t. I took a few hours, the rest of the day really, to myself and then just realized–that, that everything is going to be okay. Setbacks happen. I tweeted out that I should be used to heartbreak by now, and when I let that thought simmer, I realized that yes, I am ‘used to’ the feeling, and I am used to healing and bouncing back by now.
I am.
Last year, I had episodes of sadness that spanned a few days. I’d feel guilty for bringing down my friends around me as I tried to work myself out of the rut. This episode last night, though, is now over. I got up after my bout of crying and got dinner; wrote emails to decision makers; and just stayed busy.
And this morning, that’s the same. There’s no time for me to stay in the dumps for a few days. Today I present again at Ignite Denver (and this time over a sillier topic than before). I have received emails and tweets about meetings and a photo shoot. I need to pack for my trip out west before I get to the airport Friday evening. The conference I’m going to, Launch Festival, is going to be life-changing for me and for TAOpivot.
So, what’s the big deal with a setback like what I experienced yesterday? Just have to bounce back quickly and realize that life is good and that I cannot allow for low times to get to me.
This thought had been circling around my mind all day yesterday: how parents protect children so much….but in the end, they cannot protect us from heartache [in relationships].
I will go ahead and be transparent: I never had a boyfriend until the age of 25 (just two years ago). And that was a roller coaster trauma of a relationship: alcoholism, secrets, manipulation … I’ve torn the chains away from that relationship, yet residual pain still seeps through.
And all this time I think about how, well, if only my parents could have protected me from ever letting that happen. Yet, they couldn’t. I can seek comfort in them over things, but they cannot fix everything for me. After all, how old am I now? I can’t just go crying to my parents like a four-year-old with a booboo. I need to suck it up and learn from my mistakes, no matter how big or small.
Sometimes I wish that I could have an arranged marriage. Then I wouldn’t need to deal with this constant searching, seeking, “you’re not good enough”, etc. etc. I find myself these days trying to protect my feelings by telling others how I am all about “no attachments” for the time being. I find that I often fall too fast too quickly…only to be hurt. I care too much and then I … end up hurting myself.
Of course, by telling myself “You cannot get attached,” I still do. And it hurts; every time I fall for someone new, I see them walk away with another woman. Someone better than I am? I can’t say, but my mind twists the situation that way. I always hear the same, comforting words of “You’ll find someone better.” And I hype myself up with this thought, but it only lasts for a little bit. Then I’m back to feeling like I won’t find a nice guy. It’s a vicious cycle for me.